🤫 Things You Won’t Hear in Speech Therapy: Here’s Why

Words Matter: Why Some Prompts Create Pressure

Parents and caregivers often want to help children communicate clearly, confidently, and effectively. Some of the common phrases adults grew up hearing—like “Say truck!” or “Use your words!”—can unintentionally add pressure or create confusion for children who are still developing speech and language skills. At Communicating Together Therapy & Wellness Associates in Waterloo, Ontario, I take an approach that supports connection, safety, and natural communication—not performance or perfection. When children feel understood and encouraged, their confidence grows and so does their ability to learn. In contrast, when children feel pressure to perform or be perfect, this can inhibit their willingness to try.

🎥 Watch: Things You Won’t Hear in Speech Therapy | Here’s Why

Why You Won’t Hear Me Say “Say Truck!”

Many adults use “Say ___” prompts because they want to help children practice new words. Sometimes, this does work—especially for children who are already feeling confident and regulated. Research has shown, however, that when children feel pressure to speak, their communication often decreases. Here’s why:

  • Pressure activates the stress response, which can reduce speech fluency and language formulation.
  • Children may avoid talking to prevent correction or perceived mistakes.
  • Some kids misinterpret the request, thinking “say truck” is the name of the object.
  • It can shift communication from connection to performance, which isn’t where meaningful learning happens.

Instead of prompting a specific word, I model the language I hope the child will learn within natural, responsive interactions, such as:

  • “Wow! A big truck!”
  • “I see a truck driving fast!”
  • “That truck is so loud!”

This approach aligns with evidence supporting responsive, child-led language modelling, which promotes stronger vocabulary growth and more meaningful communication over time.

Why You Won’t Hear Me Say “Use Your Words”

The phrase “Use your words” can feel helpful—but for many children, especially those who are feeling overwhelmed, tired, anxious, or who are still learning expressive language, specific words may not be accessible in the moment.

If a child could use their words, they likely would.

A child who is crying, frustrated, or dysregulated is communicating through behaviour because:

  • Their brain is working hard to process emotions.
  • Their language system might not be available during stress.
  • They may not yet have the vocabulary or the experience to express themselves in that situation.

Instead, I meet the child where they are and support communication through co-regulation and modelling. That might sound like:

  • “I see this is hard. I’m here with you.”
  • “You’re pointing at the cup. You want more juice.”
  • “Let’s take a breath together. Then we can try again.”

This approach honours the child’s communication—whether it’s spoken, signed, gestured, or behavioural—thus helping them to feel valued, understood, and safe.

The Evidence: Why Low-Pressure, Connection-Focused Speech Therapy Helps

A supportive, pressure-free environment isn’t just kind—it’s research-backed.

Studies in child development, communication science, and relational neuroscience show that:

  1. Children learn best when they feel emotionally safe. Safety activates the brain networks needed for learning, curiosity, and problem-solving.
  2. Responsive language modelling supports vocabulary, grammar, and narrative development more effectively than direct correction.
  3. Pressure, correction, or performance-based interactions can reduce participation and increase communication anxiety.
  4. Co-regulation (supporting a child’s emotional state) is a key part of communication development, especially for young children and neurodivergent learners.

My goal is never to force speech—it’s to build communication by creating an environment where children feel capable, understood, and valued.

How We Do It: Low-Pressure, Connected Speech Therapy in Waterloo

At Communicating Together Therapy & Wellness Associates, sessions are:

✅ Child-Led

We start with what your child is already showing interest in. Following their lead increases engagement and reduces pressure.

✅ Connected and Safety-Focused

Before any learning takes place, children need to feel seen and supported. Relationship-building is foundational—not optional.

✅ Model-Rich

I model words, phrases, sentences, and augmentative and alternative communication (AAC), when used, in ways that fit naturally into play or conversation.

✅ Inclusive of All Communication Forms

Communication is more than just verbal words. Gestures, facial expressions, body language, pointing, showing pictures or objects, and AAC are all valid forms of communication.

✅ Collaborative with Families

I help caregivers feel confident using supportive strategies in daily situations—without judgement.

Everyday Ways Parents Can Support Communication Without Pressure

Here are gentle, evidence-based strategies families can use at home:

1. Model, Don’t Demand Repetitions.

  • Instead of saying “Say ball,” try modelling naturally: “Ball! The ball is bouncing!” Do not pressure the child for repetitions.
  • Focus on Variety, Not Just Nouns. Model different word types: action (help, come, stop), description (fast, hot, wet), location (in, out, on, off), and pronouns (I, me, my, we, you). Building a vocabulary rich with various word-types sets a young child up for being able to eventually put words together, as you can’t make sentences with only nouns.

2. Connect Before Expecting Communication

  • Get down to your child’s level, join their play, and show you’re listening and interested in what they are enjoying.

3. Follow Their Lead

  • Let your child choose the activity or topic. Engagement skyrockets when children feel in control.

4. Use Parallel Talk and Self-Talk

  • Describe what your child is doing (“You’re building a tall tower!”) or what you’re doing (“I’m opening the box.”).

5. Support Emotional Regulation First

  • If your child is overwhelmed, acknowledge their feelings and help them settle before expecting language. When our brains are upset, they focus on survival, not on language or learning.

6. Celebrate all communication

  • Pointing, gestures, facial expressions, AAC use, and vocalizations are important—not “less than”—forms of communication.

When to Consider Speech Therapy

Speech therapy may be helpful if your child:

  • stutters
  • is difficult to understand
  • seems frustrated when communicating
  • has trouble understanding instructions or questions
  • uses fewer words than expected for their age
  • avoids talking or only whispers in certain settings
  • struggles with social interactions or back-and-forth conversation
  • is developing speech or language differently from peers
  • uses AAC and needs support integrating it into daily life

Whether your child has a diagnosis, is neurodivergent, or simply needs extra help with communication, therapy can offer encouragement, clarity, and support.

📍 Private Speech Therapy in Waterloo, Ontario

At Communicating Together Therapy & Wellness Associates, I provide warm, inclusive, support for children and teens.

If you’re looking for a private speech-language pathologist in Waterloo Region, I’d be honoured to support your family.

👉 Visit communicatingtogether.ca to learn more or get in touch.

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📝 A Note to Parents & Guardians

If you’ve ever worried that you’re “doing it wrong” or that your child needs to perform perfectly in order to learn, please take a deep breath. You are doing so much right already. Communication grows from connection—not correction.

Your child deserves to feel safe, celebrated, and understood—together, we can make that happen.

⚠️ Disclaimer

This blog is for general informational purposes only and does not replace individualized assessment or treatment. Please consult a licensed speech-language pathologist for support tailored to your child.

👋 Take care,

Rhonda MacKinnon, M.Sc., S-LP(C), Reg. CASLPO – Speech-Language Pathologist