What You See Isn’t Always What’s Happening
Have you ever seen a child having a meltdown in public and wondered, what’s going on? It’s a common reaction—but what many people don’t realize is that some communication difficulties are invisible. What looks like “bad behaviour” may actually be a child struggling to express themselves or understand what’s being said to them.
At Communicating Together Therapy & Wellness Associates in Waterloo, Ontario, this is something we see in our work with children and families. As a speech-language pathologist, I’ve sat with countless parents over the years who have shared the pain of being judged in public—stares, comments, and even unkind words—when their child reacts in ways that others don’t understand. It’s heartbreaking, because what we see on the surface rarely tells the full story.
🎥 Watch a Video on Hidden Communication Challenges in Kids
When “Behaviour” Is Really Communication
Every behaviour communicates something. When you see a child who cries, yells, freezes, or shuts down, keep in mind, it may be their way of saying “I need help” or “I’m overwhelmed”—especially when they don’t yet have the skills or words to express this. As a speech-language pathologist (SLP), my role is to explore with families how a child’s communication abilities may be connected to the reactions we see. For example:
- A child who has difficulty understanding spoken language may feel frustrated when instructions are too long or complex.
- A child with expressive language difficulties may become upset when they can’t find the words to explain what they want or need.
- A child who processes information slowly may seem “noncompliant” when in fact they just need more time to respond.
In these cases, what looks like “behaviour” may be a reflection of communication frustration. However, communication is only one piece of a much bigger picture. Sometimes, reactions or meltdowns may also be influenced by other factors—such as sensory sensitivities, emotional regulation challenges, or developmental differences.
That’s why collaboration is so important. Partnering with occupational therapists, psychologists, doctors, and board-certified behaviour analysts (BCBAs) can help families gain a clearer understanding of their child’s needs and ensure they receive the most appropriate supports.
Why It’s Important to Pause Before Judging
Communication challenges often go unseen. Many children who experience speech, language, or social communication differences appear to be “typical” until they’re in situations that test their understanding or expressive abilities.
When you observe a child having a meltdown, please pause before judging and give families what they need most: understanding, patience, and empathy.
When we take that pause, we create space for:
✔️ Seeing a child’s behaviour as a message, not a problem.
✔️ Responding with curiosity (“I wonder what they’re trying to tell us?”) instead of criticism.
✔️ Supporting parents who already feel overwhelmed and judged.
These small shifts can make a big difference—helping children feel safer, parents feel supported, and communities become more compassionate.
How Speech Therapy Can Help
At Communicating Together Therapy & Wellness Associates, our speech therapy approach is grounded in connection, compassion, and collaboration.
When communication is hard, frustration builds quickly—for both the child and their family. Speech therapy can help by:
- Identifying Communication Strengths and Challenges
Through a comprehensive communication assessment, we look beyond “surface” behaviours to understand how speech, language, and communication skills may be contributing to what you’re seeing.
If it seems that other factors (such as sensory processing, anxiety, or emotional regulation) may be playing a role, I often recommend collaborating with other professionals and community partners such as doctors, psychologists, occupational therapists, or board-certified behaviour analysts (BCBAs). Each discipline brings a unique lens to understanding a child’s experience. In the Resources section of my website, you’ll find Community Resources: Free & Low-Cost Support—because I understand that finances may be limited. - Building Skills in a Supportive, Child-Centred Way
Therapy focuses on helping children find ways to be heard—whether through spoken language, gestures, visual supports, or alternative communication systems. We always start where the child is, not where others think they should be. - Supporting Parents and Caregivers
Parents play a key role in helping children generalize communication skills beyond the therapy room. We provide guidance, practical strategies, and collaborative coaching to help you feel confident supporting your child at home and in the community. - Focusing on Connection First
Before any new skill can develop, a child needs to feel safe, understood, and connected. That’s why our therapy sessions prioritize trust, predictability, and joy—because communication grows best in supportive, pressure-free environments.
Everyday Ways to Support a Child with Hidden Communication Challenges
If you’re a parent, educator, or community member, here are a few gentle, evidence-informed strategies to keep in mind:
💛 Pause and observe – Instead of reacting immediately to “behaviour,” pause and wonder what might be going on beneath it.
💬 Model simple, clear language – Use short sentences, visuals, and repetition to help children understand.
⏳ Give time to respond – Silence can be powerful. Waiting a few extra seconds after asking a question gives a child space to process and respond.
🫶 Acknowledge emotions – Naming what a child might feel (“That was really hard,” “You’re upset because you couldn’t tell me what you wanted”) helps them feel seen and supported.
🎯 Focus on connection, not correction – A calm, empathetic response helps build trust and reduces stress for both child and parent.
If you’re uncertain why a particular behaviour is happening, it can be helpful to consult with your child’s team. Collaboration among professionals—such as speech-language pathologists, occupational therapists, psychologists, board-certified behaviour analysts (BCBAs), and physicians—can provide a more complete picture of your child’s strengths and needs.
đź“Ť Private Speech Therapy in Waterloo, Ontario
At Communicating Together Therapy & Wellness Associates, we offer private speech and language services for children and teens in a warm, inclusive, and family-centred environment—where care meets possibilities..
đź“© Ready to Connect? Start the Conversation About Communication Support
If you’re in the Waterloo area and feel your child may be struggling with communication, or if everyday interactions have become a source of frustration, we’re here to help. Together, we can try to uncover what’s really going on and help your child be seen, heard, and supported.
👉 Visit communicatingtogether.ca to learn more or to contact us.
đź“š Looking for More? Explore Our Resources and Family-Friendly Strategies
- Stop the Guilt: A Speech Therapist’s Message to Parents
- Why Building Trust Is the First Step in Speech Therapy: What the “Warm-Up” Is Really For
- Read more on our blog
📱 Follow Us on Social Media
Follow along on social media for tips, encouragement, and resources (links are at the bottom of every page on our website).
đź“ť A Note to Parents & Guardians
If you’ve ever felt judged, misunderstood, or blamed for your child’s communication or behaviour challenges, please know this: seeking to understand what’s underneath the behaviour is one of the most loving things you can do.
Every child deserves to be seen for their strengths, not judged for their struggles.
⚠️ Disclaimer
This blog is for general informational purposes only. Please consult a licensed professional such as a psychologist, physician, occupational therapist, board-certified behaviour analyst (BCBA), or speech-language pathologist (SLP) for guidance specific to you or your child.
đź‘‹ Take care,
Rhonda MacKinnon, M.Sc., S-LP(C), Reg. CASLPO – Speech-Language Pathologist